PHILADEPHIA, PA – After an “epic” spring break trip with his family to Niagra Falls, young Danny Writher has reportedly rejoined the sixth grade student body holding his head just a bit higher. He mentioned casually to a classmate near the drinking fountain last Tuesday, “I totally got with a really hot eighth grader over break.” When asked for confirmation, however, Danny shook his head saying, “I would love to show her to you, but she doesn’t believe in pictures, or uh, texting.” While we have yet to see any evidence of the passionate love affair, our correspondents are furiously working to find the young lady that, according to Danny, “lit up his world and had huge boobs.”
"Life is a tragedy when seen in close-up, but a comedy in long-shot."
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